As Dr. Frank Mousington was rudely awoken from his slumber and scurried through his home looking for a snack, he heard the penetrating squeals of terrified teenage girls. According to Mousington, he is normally not active during the day; however, Thursday April 29th was different.  

“I was just minding my own business, when I heard the excruciating sound of laughter and gossip,” Mousington said. “Since I was already awake, I got up and started to look for something to eat.”

As he rustled around his blue, steel home, he heard the previously chaotic atmosphere suddenly go silent. 

“Suddenly all the noise was gone,” Mousington said. “I panicked and hid in the nearest shoe I could find.”

According to Mousington, the curious teenagers began snooping around the locker room, banging on the doors, and listening for squeaks. 

“I stayed put while they searched,” Mousington said. “They opened all the doors around me and started tearing out my furniture. They even stole the microwave mac and cheese container I finally chewed a hole through!” 

Mousington says he’s been working on getting through that plastic for weeks. He hid quietly, waiting for this disturbance to end. 

“They threw all of my belongings and food out of my home,” Mousington said. “I felt helpless and exposed as they poked around my things.”

Overall Mousington feels completely violated by the events of last Thursday. He hopes that the cheer and dance team will refrain from breaking into his home ever again. Mousington has lost his hope in humanity. 

“I just cannot believe how rude and inconsiderate these girls were to go looking through my home,” Mousington said. “I am just so disappointed in humanity right now. DHMU.”