Break ups. Never easy to do whether over text, phone or in person. Having that rush of emotions slowly leave you as you begin to question the relationship you have so undoutfully put your everything into kills you.

It leaves a hole where your heart is. There’s nothing more to describe a break up than a hole. Someone you spent every moment you possibly could with is now gone. Why does this hurt so badly? It was your decision anyway, shouldn’t you feel relieved now? No, of course you’re not relieved. You hurt the person you used to hold dearest. You broke their heart.  When those words escape their lips “I hate you” your heart suddenly drops from your chest to your stomach. Are you physically ill? No, you’re sick from the pain in your heart. The force of their words knocks you down. The phrase “I still want to be friends” only saves you from a guilty conscience, it doesn’t save you from the pain. It doesn’t help them any either. Them seeing you happy with someone else while you both are still “friends” kills them. What if they find someone else? Suddenly you want them back. Suddenly jealously fills every recess of your brain.

This isn’t how it’s supposed to happen. You’re supposed to be the happy one right? The tables have turned and now you want them back. They can’t be happy with someone else if you’re alone, that’s just not fair! Well it wasn’t fair when you broke their heart for some so called “freedom”. They wanted to stay with you and you wanted to see other people. Now you want them all to yourself but they’ve moved on and are happy. You can’t ruin their happiness, you did that already.