Did you know that every 3 minutes, a child in Afri-HAHAHAHA NAH. I can’t. I just can’t do it.

I do care about whatever is happening wherever. Trust me, I’m a true white middle-class teenager when it comes to being momentarily outraged and spending hours on social media complaining and blessing everyone with my enlightened opinion. The other day, I was condescendingly scoffed at by a lady who was of much higher knowledge and social status than I was.

Here I was in line at Chipotle, minding my own business. My friends and I are discussing this and that when one of my friends asks if we’ve heard of what’s been going on in North Korea.

He informed us that thousands of citizens have been forcibly rallied into sports stadiums to witness the public execution of a total of 80 citizens in several cities across North Korea.

These citizens were executed for offenses as minor as watching South Korean television or possessing a Bible. The victim’s corpses were so riddled by machine-gun fire that they were said to be nearly unidentifiable.

I was unaware of this. So, when I vocalized my ignorance on the topic
to my friend, the lady ahead of us made a dumb “pfft” noise. This may be inaccurate, but it sounded like a dry vacuum’s fart.

There are several things wrong with this picture.

1: We never included her in our discussion, therefor her opinion or stupid noises from her dumb face were not invited.

2: We are in Chipotle. Chipotle, for those of you who are unaware, is a temple in which the burrito gods come forth
and bestow many blessings upon the undeserving human masses.

Chipotle is a place of peace, balance, and tranquility. The burrito artists (and, yes, they are ARTISTS) are the Middle Men and they preach the gospel of a steak burrito with corn, lettuce, pico de gallo, cheese and guacamole.

3: Making condescending noises doesn’t change the fact that I was unaware of the whereabouts of a country that is entirely privatized. When you go “pfft”, you did not suddenly inject my brain with all the knowledge about the given.

You see, as humans, we speak with words. We say stuff like “Hello,” “Goodbye,” “Yeah, I’ll pay extra for guac,” and “Do not bring a peacock to prom, man, it’s a bad idea.”

If we were still Neanderthals, you would be in the right place. We could just go “BLAFP” and “DGUOG” and in this world, “pfft” would be a perfectly proper way to speak.

Of course, I did not say anything, because I am a passive guy. I do not want to confront anyone. I want to write about it later, not deal with it now.

So, audience, if there’s anything you can take home with you, it’s that if you overhear the ignorance of a third-party, don’t say anything.

Let them carry on their merry path of misinformation. Especially in Chipotle. Because, anger the burrito gods, and we are ALL affected.