The stretch of rubber soles bending to the curvature of quick paces are noise pollution to halls clouded with conversation. Whispers of pleads to copy math homework and, “Can I borrow the notes?” are only more clutter to the chaos.
Backpacks strain and break backs with pressures and stress that already dwell in swollen minds. Doors stand open and uninviting, or so says the nervous eyes of sophomores whose red, puffy glances beg, “no more please, no more.” The outfits of the discouraged hang sloppily off of their collars to reveal a week of restless nights. Others dress to the nines, as they have yet to be brought down by the ‘brick to the face’ blow of their first report card and ignorant to truth.
Juniors hang in the balance. Safe from criticism, from the pressure of a new beginning in an unknown place, and from the slew of decisions to be made for college soon to come, they are silently under the radar.
The bags under their eyes grow darker, but these are the unnoticed. They stand begging for an approaching senior year they will soon regret requesting.
I stand under the same pressure knowing all these noises, these feelings, these discrepancies in ugly carpets and chips in prison cell-reminiscent walls. I stand alone in a sea of confidence watching others drown, breathing panic deep into their lungs.
My homework, half-way done, my handwritten notes askew, I still trust that I’ll pull out a 3.5 GPA and a spoken “Highest Honors” plastered next to my name in a few short months at graduation.
I recognize and sympathize with what they are going through, but I can’t help but feel proud. I overcame all of this.
Knowing that this all is past me allows a deep breath to refresh me. The kind that inflates you and presses into your diaphragm to let loose a deeply satisfying exhale.
The twinge of a smile lights up my own lipsticked lips against blushing pale skin. My eyes cut to the tired faces and broken spirits, but I don’t try to blend in the way I always had. And while all this happens within a few steps, the inspiration is limitless.