As the incongruous mess of girlish giggles and more masculine chuckles infiltrates my surroundings I sit in utter disbelief.

Seconds before this moment of humiliation, I had enthusiastically commented on a respected peers’ surprisingly freckled completion. Rather than nonchalantly mentioning that I had never taken note of the cute speckles, I somehow gushed something along the lines of “ I have never been close enough to you to properly examine your skin.”

I am mortified that my rather clinical brand of social awkwardness has once again taken complete control of my being.  Rather than remaining collected, as I had resolved I should behave throughout my senior year, I have already allowed my whimsical nature to display itself.

When instances such as the aforementioned blunder occur I am not sure if I should allow my natural introspective demeanor to take charge and never speak again, or celebrate my quirky side and simply laugh it off.

I typically select the latter because it seems to be an effective method of dispelling the feeling of incompetence that lingers after an unsuccessful social encounter. However, it is not always simple to embrace your eccentricities, especially when they seem to issue forth misfortune in the form of humiliation and self-doubt. It is a constant struggle, but I have discovered that simply cherishing the countless awkward aspects of myself rather than attempting to suppress them proves to be infinitely times more self-serving than wallowing in a conglomeration of embarrassment, dissatisfaction, and regret.

So, next time I profess a thought that should probably remain in the splendid mess that is my mind or find my self in an understated yoga pose in the middle of class rather than being overtaken by seemingly irreparable embarrassment I should revel in a deep breath, giggle at myself, and accept the socially awkward being that I am.