Falling down a flight of stairs can be traumatic to say the least. It can also be wonderfully hilarious. For instance, falling down a flight of stairs with a whoopie cushion in every pocket or perhaps falling down a flight of stairs while carrying a fully loaded diaper might produce the onset of belly laughs.
It’s safe to say a majority of the time, falling down a flight of stairs is not fun, but can be. Here’s a tale or two about falling down stairs.
It was an average day at the Benson home– fire cracking in the fireplace, unicorns strutting majestically in the backyard, and a fine dinner being cooked in the kitchen. Actually the meal wasn’t cooked, it was brought home from the prestigious Popeye’s Fried Chicken: Louisana…Fast!
Anyways, predictably enough, I was ecstatic. Fried chicken is undoubtly one of my favorite foods. I made my way to the staircase, plate fully loaded, so that I could enjoy this fine meal while separated from living society. I came to the top of the stairs as my sister, trying to be a comedian, cuts me off, and makes her way down the stairs.
Her plate was also fully loaded with fried goodness, and she clutching a tall glass of Kool-Aid. Something wonderful happened. As she’s making her way down the stairs, she steps on her own shoelace and dramatically launches her food in the air as she tumbles down the staircase. The food meets her at the bottom of the stairs and lands on and around her.
The scene left by this incident was a messy one. Bits and pieces of breading, chicken, and coleslaw were strewn about all over the staircase. To make it even better, my mother made my sister clean up the mess. Karma at its finest. What a day!
As Karma would have it, my sister’s demise in the moment would soon be avenged.
It was about a week later. I was in the backyard, getting firewood. I struggled to get an armful of firewood and made my way to my back door. I opened it and approached the stairs. My sister was watching me from the couch.
I ventured uneasily up the staircase. All was well, until I reached the middle. As I attempted to scratch my back, I transferred the weight of the wood to one arm so that the other could do such desired action.
I relieved the itch of my back, just as the logs in my right hand slipped and landed firmly on my left foot. Instinctively, my hands went down to treat the injury thus releasing the rest of the logs onto my right foot. For some odd reason my instinct was to jump.
So, I jumped into the air. I instantly realized my mistake when I landed on one of the logs, causing me to launch back into the air. I landed face down on the staircase and allowed the logs to roll me to the foot of the stairs. It took me a second to realize my sister was howling with laughter from the couch. The event will not be soon forgotten.
So, a few tips for those of you who struggle with everyday machines such as the common staircase.
1. Do not attempt using one while carrying heavy objects (if you lack balance.)
2. Don’t try to be funny and cut off your brother at the top of the stairs, because it will only be funnier for him when you fall.
and
3. Don’t go down stairs in a wheelchair; it ALWAYS seems like a good idea in theory.
And if you cannot refrain from any of the above, stuff your pockets with whoopie cushions to make the situation hilarious for everyone involved.
